i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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