He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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