the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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