if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
