whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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