I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
