no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
