Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
