Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize