Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
