so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
