All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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