Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
