He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
