her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
