I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
