I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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