he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
