Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
