so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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