I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
