You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
