sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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