There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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