**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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