Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
