Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
