Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
