So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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