Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
