Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
