I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
