isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
