Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
