it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
