Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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