For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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