Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
