Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
