oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
