I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Semen is not good for contacts.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
