i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
