Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
