Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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