walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Sext me about skeletons
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
