I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
