You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
