Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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