i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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