can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
