Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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