i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
