Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
