She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
