Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
