I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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