He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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