I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
