God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
