Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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